I am so lucky to have such a wonderful Mom. I may be biased, but I think she is the best Mom in the world (I know, Lucky Me!).
No, Seriously. This is going to sound silly, but my Mom was meant to be my Mom. I know for obvious reasons, she was meant to be. But, I know in my heart of hearts that any other Mom would have given up on me during my teen years or when I decided to get married so young. I do have a point, so just keep reading (please).
This weekend was incredibly emotional. I was a wreck. A crying mess. But seriously in denial.
I had lashed out at my husband over not folding a t-shirt. Threw a fit over chores. Punched my pillow, I don't know, say a trillion times. And was still a crying mess. I had convinced myself that it had nothing to do with me, my feelings about my Dad, or the anxiety I had about the anniversary. So I went to bed last night still fighting with myself about the real reason I was such a mess. Then my saviour, also known as my Mother, stayed on the phone as I was describing the (horrific) events of last night.
Funny.. how when your Mother says the same thing as everybody else, you actually listen. [Kind of like when I'm sick - my husband will tell me over and over to go to the doctor and I'll shrug it off (what could he know, right?) But my Mom, in no time at all can convince me that I need medical attention.] Crazy. She is like my guru. She has all the answers. We talked about my ranting and raving and she spoke about what she believes is the core of why I'm so upset. And.... The "Ah-ha!" moment came to me! The light bulb went off! The sun broke through the clouds! I GET IT!
Why is something so obvious so difficult to see? I, Katherine Cox, have not dealt with my father's death. I hide feelings, I mask feelings, and I fake feelings. But I do not deal with feelings. Therefore, in the 40 minutes I was talking to my Mom, she (once again) was the person walking through my desert with a stick - ready to pull me out of my quicksand. So every time I go to thank her, there isn't enough I can do to show or to say how much I appreciate her. My mother's love, just as my husband's love, or a friend's love - was the cure. Gosh, I'm so darn fortunate to be surrounded by such love!
Since Love is in the air - I decided to show a little love by bringing it to the dinner table.
I figured that if I completely wrap myself in the warmth of love where ever I go, I can take on just about anything! I encourage everyone to find ways to bring a little "love" in your life.
I really like this blog. I can totally relate. :)
ReplyDeleteFunny thing, My Mom e-mailed me after I posted this, and was like "Holy Barbara? You make me sound like a Saint or something. I am just the one person who knows your life story from the very beginning."
ReplyDeleteWhat a profound statement. Of course she gives the best advice, she is the one person that truly knows the direction my life has been.
So even when she is trying to be modest, she still has the ability to make sense of my life. She is just fabulous!
My mom is the same way. She's totally amazing and yet she doesn't see herself in that light. No matter what I can tell her anything and she knows a lot of what I'm going through because she's been through a lot as well. Mom's are totally awesome. :)
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