30 January 2010

Just OK

Over the past few years, many people have commented on the fact that I am always so positive & bubbly.
& I usually do try to give off a more sunny disposition.
But there are days when I am Just OK.
There are days when all I have to give is Just Satisfactory.
Sometimes all I can strive for is getting through it.

Often, as women, we find ourselves on one end of life's spectrum:
Extreme 1: Feeling as if we are not trying hard enough. Like there is SO much to get done you don't know where to start. This feeling of being overwhelmed can be disappointing and leave a taste of failure in the air.
Extreme 2: Trying so hard that we are running ourselves into the ground. Feeling like there is no end to the things you have to do and feeling exhausted. It can lead to frustration and agitation.

In my humble opinion:

Life is Messy (hence the blog title). It probably always will be.
Maybe sometimes it will be more messy than others, but life will always give you these little (or massive) messes to clean up.
Some days you will be able to tackle it all and be victorious.
Other days you will want to curl up under the covers (and not come out for a few days).
Right now for me, I'm Just OK
& It is OK to be Just OK.

[I find myself still grieving.
I find myself still stuck in a pattern of shame.
I'm working on renewing spirituality.
I'm striving to improve my mental health.
I spread myself thin amongst the many obligations I have.
I worry about so many things, I'm certain my head is one worry away from exploding.]

And I'm feeling Just OK.

So: I try to make the best of my life, including the messy parts.
But, it doesn't mean that I wake up every morning with a smile on my face.
I've recently been waking up and feeling like all I can do is the fundamental things to get us through another day. Instead of feeling disappointed in myself, I'm allowing this temporary time to be just satisfactory.

& I'm just fine with it.

Are you? Have you felt this way?
Can you allow yourself to be just OK?
"It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis"
-Margaret Bonnano


  1. That is an absolutely beautiful picture of you!! I can definitly relate to your post, I feel like Im letting people down if Im not always positive or happy and i have my share of ok and satisfactory days!!

  2. So you have no idea how much this post just helped me. I'm right there with you on some of this. Not everyday is going to be sunshine and rainbows and it's just how we deal with it that makes us who we are.

  3. Loved your post. I feel like that all the time. I guess it's the days that are just ok that make the good days even better.

    I'm new to the blogging world, and I'm loving reading about other military spouses and their lives. Where in Japan are you? I lived in Japan and loved it. Looking forward to reading more posts!

  4. This was so refreshing to read. There are a lot of days where I feel "just OK" and most of those days, I do beat myself up for it. I feel like the second I express any negative thoughts, I'm looked at as not strong enough or whiny. When really.. I feel like it's just REAL. I like this though. Realistically, we're never going to feel GREAT about ourselves every single day, so I'm going to try to give myself permission to have just an ok day here and there... or as much as I need to!

  5. Nice to "meet" you! We were stationed in Sasebo for 3 years, and we were so sad to leave. We stayed in Tokyo for a few days and loved it. Enjoy it while you can!! There are so many things I wish I had done before we left.

    We're in Virginia now. It was quite an adjustment living in the states again, but it's nice being closer to family.

  6. I can definitely relate. I have a frame in my office of words to live by (from a former student). One phrase is "remember we are all doing the best we can." I think of this often. There are many days where I feel "just ok" and as long as I'm doing the best I can, that's ok with me.

  7. I can most def relate. I feel that way a lot of times where either I'm not doing enough or where I'm running myself into the ground. Very rarely do I find myself in that happy medium. I feel guilty a lot of times when I can't seem to find the time for others because my kids and husband always come first. I put myself and everything else on the back burner for the three of them and it wears on you after a while. It's why I'm so tired and stressed out much of the time, but I love my kids and my husband and will do anything for them. Not a lot of people understand that, which is where the guilt comes in.

    Anywho, enough blah blahing. Haha! Love the blog. Sorry I'm posting so late, but I'm way behind on blogs.